Marriage In Vegas

If you're going to the chapel anytime soon then you may want to take the advice of a former client who shared with me that getting married and having children in today's world is not what it's cracked up to be.  She shared this with me just after her third divorce was finalized.  "It's not that I want to spend the rest of my life feeling lonely but love just fizzles after a year and the commitment is gone.  You could say the same about employers and even college these days.  The divorce rate for a first divorce is well-over 50%.  If you knew that you'd only win 50% back of your money in Vegas would you play?  Not likely.  More importantly, the divorce rate for second marriages is 60-65%.  Again, would you play on those odds in Vegas?  And what if you knew the divorce rate for third marriages is close to 80%?  If I knew I'd win twice out of ten plays in Vegas I would eventually lose everything and that's her point.  To illustrate this point, I close with the example of my sister-in-law sharing with me and my wife about how wonderful her marriage will be because they were getting married at the Air Force Academy Chapel, a very awesome place to get married.  After some years, they became millionaires and no longer had time for children.  My question to them was, "Why did you get married?  You can be a childless couple and not get married?"  Sadly, they divorced for the sole reason that one wanted children and the other did not.  I think they knew this but didn't get honest about it.  Instead, they played Vegas odds and are now in search of a love that ends in 60-65% divorce instead of 50% which is where everyone stands when they go to the chapel for the first time.  

College Radio

Thirty years ago I took broadcasting classes at the community college for basically a lack of anything better to do after High School.  I had big plans to become a professional musician but those plans fell through for reasons I'd mostly resolved with my therapists over the years.  But recently, an event triggered me to revisit those times, in particular, a situation that brought perspective to me when yet again nothing made sense to me in this ever-changing world.  The event occurred when I took to the airwaves for the fifth or sixth time while in the studio with another student.  We'd had a tour of a "real" radio station with highly advanced equipment just before we went On The Air, so when we returned to the college radio station we realized just how badly we wanted to do well in school and get a real job at a real radio station.  When I turned on the microphones for the both of us, we got to dialoguing about our recent journey, which turned into a comparison of college radio versus professional radio.  At first, we slammed college radio for having the worst equipment but it didn't take long for us to realize that even though the equipment was different at both radio stations, they both played good music.  Haven't you ever felt like you wouldn't be able to put out your best performance because you didn't have the best technology?  With all the changes we experience on a daily basis when it comes to technological advances, it would be easy to say we can't give our best because we don't have version 6.0 versus version 5.0.  Me and my friend came to the conclusion after our ranting that day that the college radio station was still way cool and came up with a new motto, one the program director wasn't too fond of, that "We were KEPC where we play the best music on the worst equipment."  You can do this as well.  You may not have all the best technology at your fingertips, but you can still give your best with what you do have.

The Doors

To illustrate my point of how to rid yourself of distraction, either when writing or even regarding something like personal relationships, imagine that you own an age-old castle isolated somewhere in Ireland tucked away in the rolling hills far from anyone having the slightest chance of finding you. Awesome, but one problem.  A couple finds you.  They are tourists who want to come in and see your castle.  I should mention here that this castle represents your brain and so what they want to see is the inside of your mind and learn things about you that you had no intention of sharing. But you're curious and you want to find out more about the tourists so you lower Door #1, the drawbridge, and invite them in for a chat.  You were in the middle of writing a masterpiece but now you are occupied with your guests and have to put the single most important thing in your life on hold.  Your imagination.  That's only the beginning. Lowering Door #1 and inviting them into your life seems harmless. After all, it's good to meet people, but for this couple, it's not enough.  They want to see more of your castle and even take pictures.  You don't want to be rude so you invite them up the baroque staircase behind Door #2 and give them further access to the castle allowing them to view things that only a good friend, parent, or favorite aunt should see. Now they're getting to know you intimately and it's only day one.  Not so good. Would you seriously tell a stranger your secrets on the first date?  Right.  So, now seems like the right time to say, "Thanks for dropping by" and escort them back to Door #1. But you're nice.  You're nice to strangers, you're nice to friends, and even to your characters.  Instead of having your own private space that you can call on anytime you need, you allow everyone to get by Door #3.  I must inform you that getting by this Door is sacred territory. For example, I've been with my wife a good many years and there's only a few times I can count where I've been able to knock on Door #3. This Door is to be protected at all costs, which in my case I won't have access to until one of us is near death.  I've learned by her example that with the stories I write I shouldn't allow others to know everything about every character I develop or even personal nuggets about me.  So, like The Home Shopping Network, here's the part where I tell you this is good stuff and it works, especially on those days when you feel like life is getting the best of you. It's then when I'd encourage you to open your mind, take a breath or two, and realize you may have let too many people by The Doors.

Free

I'd been reading about authors on Twitter who were so happy that they didn't have to do battle with agents and publishers and who were much happier living life as an author on their own terms.  Many of the arguments were solid and I could completely understand them based on some of their experiences, especially why they elected to move on (away) from traditional publishing.  But after spending eight years writing a damn good book and promoting it for a year with some solid writer friends on Twitter, I decided to pull the plug on my own work.  It's nothing against anyone nor am I trying to put out to the universe that I'm better than everyone else. Instead, it's more like a message to myself that I'm free of the indie and traditional publishing worlds for awhile and free to write without distraction anything that fascinates my head while remaining free from judgment, at least until I'm through writing the next book.  If' you're reading this and have never opened your mind to indie publishing, you should.  Like I said, there are some incredible people who did all they could to promote my work and for that I will be always be grateful.  As for now, I have returned to the lab.  My best to you, JW

Never Look Back

It's been five months since my last blog entry and so I'd expect no one to read this. BUT, if you do I hope to inspire with the idea of persistence.  I wrote a book about children who lost their faith at the hands of some horny and vile priests.  Instead, I'm the one who is losing faith in my work and want to give up so badly that I can hardly stand it.  No RT on twitter.  No emails.  And after a year plus of promoting the book it remains last on Amazon's sales list.  I think every book that that has been published on Amazon since April of 2013 has debuted just above my book every time. Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry and yet I still picture the moment when I will laugh and cry together because I'm overwhelmed with the feeling of success.  Just to throw a carrot to my fans who still remain nameless, I have decided to move forward with my plans to write my second novel.  It's not time to discuss things any further.  I just wanted to basically let outer space know that I'm still alive and I've decided to move on with book two.  The priVILEged took eight years to write.  I hope to God the second won't.   My thanks in advance for taking the risk.  JW

Post Production

Once I decided to write The Privileged I pictured an amazing script for a movie would follow.  Now that there was a story I figured anything was possible, including agents, producers, actors, and a director.  I wrote the story for eight years keeping these things in my mind the entire time, but I also pictured what things would look like in Post Production.  I thought it was the perfect analogy for life.  We spend so much time agonizing how perfect we want our lives to be, the perfect film with a happy ending. I thought about exactly what it would take when it came to my vocation and what would be my happiest of endings.  Now that there was this amazing film called The Privileged I decided what would make it even greater were all the people who were signed on to complete the film such as the editors and the musicians.  I even pictured John Williams of film scoring fame accepting the project.  Why not?  It's my dream so why not dream big.  That's why I envisioned the film winning big at the Academy Awards.  I believe faith will decide the outcome. 

Refuse To Compromise Your Faith

I was so discouraged about my faith that to write about the Catholic church seemed pointless.  Probably the point most disturbing to me was that I could have worked on writing a book for another hundred years to make every word perfect and still not see it reach the hands and eyes of another.  But then comes a day when you realize that to live a life of Faith commands a certain attitude.  An attitude of whatever I say I can accomplish I will accomplish.  That when someone says it can't be done you show them that it can be done and then some.  That even when someone is bold enough to predict your own failures but not inventory their own that you discover your own boldness and dig deep within yourself and find every single treasure that the universe gave to you from the very beginning.  This means that when it comes to your faith, your vocation, your life that you refuse to compromise, you refuse failure, you refuse to negotiate with anyone and settle for less than all of your dreams.  That's all you can do sometimes when nothing else is coming to pass. You refuse to compromise all that you believe about yourself and allow determination to be the driver of your spirit.  All it takes is one.  One kind person.  One big break.  One hopeful word.  One single day that you would not have known had it not been for one uncompromising dream.  Don't settle.  In fact, don't doubt that the one day you'd always dreamed about is about to discover you.